Then Comes Marriage.....

Okay, so I’ve promised an entry about the wedding I attended where my friend, Yeheng, wed her long-time boyfriend, Xing Hua. In China, weddings typically take place in the groom’s hometown and are largely planned by the groom’s mother. Hua was raised in the county town of Hunyuan, about an hour’s drive from Datong. Hunyuan County is famous for its hanging monastery, Xuankong Temple, Mountain Heng, the Yuanjue Temple Pagoda, and other beautiful sites. It is also a coal-mining town where everyone heats their homes with coal. This is evident in the brown tint to the air and on some mornings you can feel the thick coal air in your throat as you breathe. You’re probably wondering if I saw any elderly folks in this town. I did. So apparently people do survive living with such polluted air. Let me also just say that of all the Chinese cities I was fortunate to visit.....I absolutely loved Hunyuan County. People were nice and generous to me everywhere....even more so in this small town. And though I missed seeing blue sky, I really didn’t mind the smoky air at all.

Back to the wedding. On the morning of the wedding ceremony (January 1), which would be Buddhist in nature, Yeheng and Hua both went to have their hair done and Yeheng had her make-up done. From the time she woke up she had to wear all red clothing, right down to her undies.
Red is an important and very lucky color in China. Because of the wedding there were red decorations on the hotel room door, taped up at the entrance to the hotel, and taped to the door of Hua’s home.
Yeheng then went to her mother’s hotel room where she was staying and waited for Hua to come and get her for the ceremony. Li-yin and I were also in the hotel room waiting, as well as Yeheng’s mother, sister and brother-in-law. Everyone was a bit anxious. And then we heard it. The fireworks that were going off just outside the hotel, signifying Hua’s arrival to everyone within ear shot that a wedding was about to take place. We looked out the window and saw a black SUV all decorated in red and then four black BMWs that would take the rest of us to Hua’s home for the ceremony. Hua and his guy friends from childhood made their way to the hotel room and knocked. We called out to Hua from behind the closed door and made him do "tricks" before he would be allowed to enter. I don’t understand Mandarin so I was oblivious to what everyone was yelling back and forth but then I was encouraged to "play a trick on Hua." So I cracked the door and told him that to gain entrance he must sing a song in English. Hua laughed and sang the only song that came to mind, which his Chinese English teacher had taught him, Jingle Bells! We all laughed and Hua passed me "lucky" money (20 yuan=$2.50) folded and wrapped in red paper through the cracked door. We then decided it was time to allow Hua to enter. He went straight to Yeheng who was sitting on the bed, veiled in red, and averting her eyes from Hua. He got down on his knees and I was told that he had to plead with her to come with him and marry him. At first she looked stern and protested but eventually smiled and agreed to go with him. He picked her up (another "trick" that he was forced to endure) and carried her all the way down the stairs and outside the hotel to the waiting BMW caravan and drivers. More fireworks went off as Yeheng and Hua emerged from the hotel.
With Yeheng and Hua being drive in the lead car and the rest of us following in four BMWs, we headed off, convoy-style and horns blaring, to Hua’s parent’s home for the traditional ceremony.
Once there, you guessed it, more fireworks. Tracy had to sit on the "wedding bed" and face a certain direction for a period of time (we were in there with her most of the time) while Hua greeted guests and mingled among folks. There was fruit and wedding candy and wedding pastries sitting around on platters. There was never any kind of formal wedding cake, however.
Finally, Hua came to get her. Tracy had changed into an all red wedding dress with gold sequins. They came out into the small courtyard of this traditional home and being officiated by one of Hua’s childhood friends, were led through a series of Buddhist sayings and lots and lots of bowing to all four directions. They also had to circle this little pyramid of burning coal. One this part of the ceremony was over we all mingled for a while (this was close family and friends only) and then formed our convoy once again to head to the restaurant for a big meal and presentation of the wedding couple and families (and more fireworks being set off at the restaurant; I think the entire town knew of this wedding). The entire restaurant was overtaken by wedding guests and there must have been close to 300 people there. I couldn’t believe that Hua’s family was paying for such a big, lavish meal. Later, Li-yin explained that it is customary for folks to slip Hua’s father money as they arrive at the restaurant in order to help pay for this big wedding feast. An interesting observation is that no one brought wedding gifts. Li-yin and I gave Tracy and Hua some "wedding money" wrapped in red paper for good luck on that day and perhaps others did also, which is customary.
As I was considered an honored guest, I dined in a special room upstairs with the wedding couple and immediate family members. Later we joined the throng of folks downstairs in the big dining room and I was asked to introduce myself to the entire room. Li-yin translated for me and I told everyone what a pleasure and honor it was to be able to travel to China to attend such an important occasion. The entire room clapped for me as if it was a great feat to speak in English. :)
Later, as guests started leaving, close friends of Hua had much to drink and continued to play "tricks" on him which was telling him to do things and he had to do them (such as carry Tracy on his back and other silly antics). Many photos were taken. Tracy and Hua would later spend their wedding night in the specially prepared "wedding bedroom" at Hua's parent's home. Yep, you read me right. :) It's all about tradition.
What a wonderful day full of culture for me! Later, I went back to Hua’s family home and just sat on the kang with his elderly "Auntie" and observed the family! :) Occasionally, I’d provide some laughs if I walked from one room to another and forgot to duck my head, banging it on the door facing and I was probably measured for height against all the men in the room (ha). If I remember correct, there is now a tick mark on the wall to indicate my height. :) I’m only 5'11" but in China, that’s pretty tall, especially for a woman.
Gee....what a long entry! Boring? Too many photos?