Have A Seat....

Sometimes I think of all the things that I know, both from living life and self-exploration, and all that I’ve had the good fortunate of seeing and experiencing. Mostly, however, I am overwhelmed by all that I don’t know and the gazillion places I have not seen; experiences not experienced. When I come across incredible opportunities to travel, such as my recent trip to China, it fuels my desire to see and do it all. I’m restless, wondering how to best make use of the back half of my life. If I’m lucky enough to live to an old age and have knowledge of when my time is about up, will I be filled with regret because I didn’t take advantage of or create opportunities for myself? Being and knowing me, I’m sure I will. Already, I regret that it took me this long to understand myself as I do. With age comes wisdom and enlightenment, sure; but couldn’t I have made better use of earlier years? Absolutely. That particular realization does not fill me with despair or gloom. I am grateful that my life is now rich and full and I’ve realized what level of importance to place on the facets of my life in order to make that claim. Of importance is to pay attention to the future; to make the most of what lies or could lie in front of me. In order to do that I should make some changes. I should prepare. This will require strong effort, willpower, motivation, and friends. Having a multitude of diverse friendships in my life is probably what I cherish the most (I feel I should say "next to my son," which is, of course, true, but why do mothers always feel the need to validate their love for their child/children?).
This is the kind of rhetoric that springs from my state of restlessness. Sometimes I feel like a nomad who has stayed too long in one place.
I have much to contemplate. Mental energy-requiring contemplation.